Dec 31, 2008

One year… 30 Pounds… Auld lang syne, my dear…


Well, 2008 is just about gone. Probably by the time you guys are reading this, it’ll be next year.

I started this year at 208 pounds.

Wow. :|

I can’t believe that. 8|

208??!!

That seems like a lifetime ago.

208 just sounds to big! Hard to believe that’s what I weighed 12 months ago.

I’m 30 pounds lighter than I was a year ago. If you would have told me one year ago I’d be 30 pounds lighter today, I would have laughed in your face and said “Yea, right, maybe 75 pounds lighter! but definitely not just 30 pounds!” I probably would have said “Psh! I could do 30 pounds without even trying!”

Man, was that a lifetime ago. I’ve gained and lost the same pounds so many times this year it’s hard to even conceive of it. I’ve exercised my butt off and deprived myself and sacrificed all of the things I love in life (my precious food). But looking back on it all, now, I think it was all worth it. I’m losing it so slowly, surely I’ll be able to keep it off forever. If I’d lost it quick, I’d be much more likely to gain it back (and then some) right? Well, that’s what they say anyways.

I’m realistic now. 30 pounds is HUGE! I had no idea I would have this much trouble losing 30 pounds. I was flying through the pounds when I first started WW. Why it only took me 7 months (my first 7 months on WW) to lose almost 60 pounds. Now, I’ve only lost half that amount in almost double the amount of time. I sure hope I can lose 30 pounds in 2009.

I figure that’s an average of a half a pound a week, right? That’s not bad. Actually, I think I would be tickled pink if I could consistently lose a half a pound each week. Wouldn’t you?

Auld Lang Syne… Do you know what that phrase really means? According to Wikipedia, “auld lang syne” literally means “old long since”, but a more common English translation would be something like “long long ago”, “days of long ago”, “in olden days”, or even “once upon a time”.

So here’s to those lost 30 pounds. Long, long ago I was 30 pounds heavier. Days of long ago found me 30 pounds more than what I am now. Once upon a time I was 30 pounds larger.

And here’s to 2009 and a year-long goal of losing a half a pound each week.

What about you? How many pounds did you take off in 2008?

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Dec 30, 2008

Counting points is tough…

Well, since I completely blew all of my goal points from last week—and when I say “blew” what I really mean is completely obliterated! I’ve decided to give it my all this week and try those goals once again.

Although, I think I’m going to take another look at those goals and re-write them a bit:

  • High intensity workout, 3 times
  • Walk for 30 minutes 7 days
  • Stay within my daily points
  • Apple or almonds (or something high in fiber) for morning, afternoon, and evening snacks
  • 64 to 80 ounces of water a day (8-10 cups)
  • No eating after 8pm. Period!

So far, I’m not doing too bad, but I’m not doing that great, either. I’m not eating after 8. I’m drinking my water. I’m having the healthy snacks. I’m walking every evening. But I’ve only done 1 high intensity workout this week.

And, for the life of me, I can’t figure out how to stay under 21 points of food each day. Like, here’s what I had today (and this is typical, though I’m eating different foods each day):

  • Breakfast: Kashi Go Lean cereal with low fat soy milk (3 points)
  • Snack: Small apple
  • Lunch: Peanut butter & Banana sandwich (reduced fat peanut butter (2 tbspns), small banana, 1/2 tbspn honey, 2 slices of whole grain wheat bread (7 points)
  • Snack: Nabisco NutriGrain Sour Cream & Onion Thins (2 points)
  • Dinner: Smart One’s Lasagna, steamed corn, tbspn butter (10 points)
  • Snack: 2 reduced fat banana muffins (home recipe) (2 points)

24 Points Total

Okay, so if I would have done without the butter at dinner, I could have shaved 3 points off my day. But plain, dry, steamed corn is just nasty. I don’t have any reduced fat butter in the house. I could have probably shaved 2 points off if I’d had that in the house.

But seriously, I’m hungry all day.

And this is how my days have been going this week. Eat very little, count points, go hungry, try to ignore hunger pangs. Ugh!

I didn’t exercise this morning but I went running tonight.

It was a bittersweet victory…

I found some motivation from Jason‘s blog. He’s a runner who’s lost 130 pounds by running (and WW). I love biking and running, but they both kick my butt! But he left me a note that said to take it slow. So I started out tonight taking it slow. My goal was to go around the block twice—3/4 mile. So I started out jogging. My heart rate got up to about 178-179 and stayed there the whole time I was jogging. I didn’t want to run. I wanted this to be as slow as possible.

I made it 2 laps around!!

Then I went for 3.

I made it 3 laps around!!! Woo Hoo!!!

Then I thought, what the heck, lets try for 4 laps.

I made it FOUR LAPS AROUND!!!!!

Man, I couldn’t believe it!! The last lap was really a cross between speed walking and jogging. I was breathing deep and trying to stay calm. But I did it. I ran (well, jogged) for ONE AND A HALF MILES!

That’s almost a 3K (about 2.5K).

I walked for 5 minutes before and after my four non-stop laps of jogging.

Then I came in and read the amount of calories I burned, which I really thought was going to be like a thousand or something, and I had burned a measly 321 calories.

What!!!!?????

I burn 300 calories walking for an hour with the girls in the morning!!

I can’t believe I only burned 321 calories.

Oh, well, I got 4 activity points out of it. Better than nothing, right.

At least I can say, proudly now, that I’ve actually ran around my block 4 times without stopping.

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Dec 27, 2008

What a wonderfully fatty week…

I H-A-D S-O M-U-C-H F-U-N T-H-I-S W-E-E-K!!!

I think I ate my weight in food!

I haven’t done this since before WW (19 1/2 months ago)!

What a blast!

I gained 8.4 pounds at WI this morning.

That’s 8.4 pounds in ONE WEEK!

I have NEVER gained this much in one week before! The most I’ve ever gained in one week was back in June when I gained 3.4 pounds.

Last Saturday, I gained 1.8 pounds from eating sensibly but not exercising. But this past week, no exercise AT ALL and I ate WHATEVER I wanted.

So that’s a total of 10.2 pounds in 2 weeks!

I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

It started on Saturday when I had:

  • Cheeseburger and Seasoned french fries dipped in ranch dressing for lunch (I can’t remember what I ate for dinner and I did not journal any of my food this week)

…and it went down hill from there.

On Sunday, I had:

  • Several Brown Sugar Cookies
  • Half a family sized box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
  • A cheese egg white omelet with veggies, oatmeal and cranberry muffin with tons of real butter and coffee with tons of real half and half (can’t remember dinner)
  • Dessert at midnight: huge piece of cheesecake covered in hot fudge sauce topped with a whole brownie chopped up and sprinkled on top with maybe a quarter cup of white chocolate chips with a side of chocolate ice cream (Denny’s Brownie Cheesecake)

On Monday, I had:

  • Sensible egg white omelet with veggies and goat cheese for breakfast
  • Kielbasa sausage with tons of sauteed onions and green peppers loaded with shredded cheddar cheese (not reduced fat) and some sauerkraut
  • A huge peanut butter sandwich with like maybe 4 or 5 tablespoons of peanut butter, gooped with gobs of honey and cinnamon and sugar

On Tuesday, I had:

  • Sensible steel cut oatmeal with flaxseed, honey, splenda, cinnamon and soy milk for breakfast
  • The same peanut butter sandwich for lunch
  • Center cut pork chops (fat not trimmed), pan seared then baked in the oven with stuffing (whole grain) until cooked through with corn and peppers (and butter) on the side

On Wednesday, I had:

  • Sensible steel cut oatmeal with flaxseed, honey, splenda, cinnamon and soy milk for breakfast
  • Half a box (regular sized box) of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (whole grain again)
  • Home made spaghetti sauce with real spaghetti noodles, real fattening ground beef and tons of Parmesan cheese on top
  • About 8 homemade oatmeal cinnamon cookies (my own concoction of oatmeal cookies made with cinnamon, ground cloves and nutmeg (gave it a pumpkin pie spice flavor to it) with a bag of Hershey’s Cinnamon Chips. Oh, man were those things heavenly!

On Christmas, I had:

  • Scrambled eggs with real cheese
  • O’Brien potatoes cooked in real butter and oil and topped with real cheddar cheese
  • Real bacon
  • Wheat toast (2 slices) with real butter
  • Then for dinner, turkey, sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, corn, Brussels sprouts, biscuits with butter, stuffing and gravy.
  • For dessert, a piece of real pumpkin pie with loads of whipped cream
  • Throughout the day, I munched on “Mock Turtle Pretzel” candies my mom-in-law made: put pretzels on a cookie sheet and top each one with a rollo and a half a pecan and put in oven until melted. Each one was 1 point. I probably had 15 of them.
  • And more of the oatmeal cinnamon cookies

After dinner, I realized that I’d left the broccoli casserole (broccoli, cream of mushroom soup and Velveeta cheese melted altogether) in the microwave. So I had a couple of servings of that after my dinner settled.

On Friday, I had:

  • Denny’s Heartland Scramble. Listen to what’s in it: “Two eggs scrambled with chopped bacon, country-fried potatoes, green peppers and onions, and topped with Cheddar cheese. Served with two strips of bacon, two sausage links, hash browns and two fluffy buttermilk pancakes.” I got cheese on the hashbrowns and substituted the pancakes for grits but got some of their new pancake balls—they’re little balls of pancake rolled in cinnamon sugar and served with syrup to dunk in.
  • Then for dinner a HUGE plate of left over spaghetti
  • And afterwards, after to coma started to set in, I had 2 more helpings of broccoli casserole, one more helping of sweet potato casserole and about 15 chocolate chip cookies.

Can you believe I ate all that stuff?!

I enjoyed every single bite of every bit of it!

I have absolutely NO regrets. I earned those 8.4 pounds!

The good news is, I’m back on plan. I’m counting my points today and back to exercising already. Getting ready to go for a walk soon.

It’s behind me now. And I know it’ll probably take me months to get these extra 10 pounds back off. But it was so worth it. I ate like I used to eat before WW and loved every minute of it. I never felt guilty for one bite.

Is that sad?

I weigh, now, what I weighed back on August 2nd. So sad!

I have no desire to cheat any more, though, I wonder why? :D

.

Dec 22, 2008

Is this emotional reaction to food really worth it?

I was reading Mary Fran‘s blog day before yesterday and it got me to thinking. She was talking about how she’d started on a downward spiral a year ago at a Christmas party. And she mentioned how she didn’t really crave the sweets but once she started eating them, she couldn’t stop. I started thinking about how the sugar we eats really effects our brain. I mean in a scientific way.

I know that our brains use sugar (glucose), as do other essential organs all over our bodies, to regulate it’s functions and maintain normalcy. Well, it would only make sense that if we get too much sugar, it’ll effect our brains. If nothing else, it’ll trigger an emotional response to the sugar overload. I know not enough sugar (like after you’ve worked out really hard and you’re dehydrated) will make you sleepy because your brain is being deprived of sugar. So, in turn, too much sugar has the opposite effect by making us hyper and excited. That, my friend, is an emotion. To be excited about something can elicit feelings of euphoria and pleasure. It’s like, the more sugar, the better we feel, the happier we are—emotionally.

Then in the car, I heard a story on NPR (my favorite station on the planet!) about a listener who called in about her comfort food (they were having a segment about our comfort foods). When she was a child, her mother bought some sweetened condensed milk one time and she tried it and said it tasted like a little drop of heaven. She immediately wanted more. Her mother was sensible and told her, no, she could only have one teaspoon a day. So her mother set the can of condensed milk up on top of her wardrobe and there it sat starring at her as she laid in bed. She couldn’t wait to have more. Now, as an adult, whenever something wonderful happens where she wants to reward herself, she gets a can of condensed milk.

That sounds like a perfectly normal response to me. She associated the sweet milk with a pleasurable emotion she had as a child. She would dream about that milk. Couldn’t wait for her next taste. She had built a pleasurable emotion around that milk. That milk made her so happy.

And finally, I got my new Cooks Country magazine today and on the first page is the letter from the editor (Christopher Kimball) where he talks about how his strongest memories are built on taste. “Drinking grape soda in the front seat of a green Ford pickup … Or the taste of penny candies purchased at the Weston Country Store … Watermelon slices, Root beer Barrels, Long strings of red and black licorice…” etc., he went on a bit further. But then after describing all of these wonderful taste sensations he had growing up, he started talking about how when we were kids, we didn’t have to describe the experience of eating these wonderful things and he continued, “… that is the difference between pure, unadulterated joy and pleasure. One is ecstatic: the other is controlled. One is pure out-of-body happiness: the other is self-observed. In joy, one is overwhelmed by the senses, not merely tempted. It is what food promises but rarely delivers. … That’s why good cooks are often children at heart, easily swayed by a finger dipped into chocolate batter, their hearts open to the unexpected. We know that at any moment, we may once again fall in love with the juiciness of a peach, the flakiness of a pie pastry. We are like old lovers who continually rediscover the beauty of each other in a glance, in a thought, in a happenstance.

Wow. That is quite an observance! The “joy” of eating is one that overwhelms our sense, not just tempts us. And I love his line “it is what food promises but rarely delivers“. And how he compares these joyful experiences we have with food to a love relationship. “continually rediscover[ing] the beauty of each other“. It reinforces my thought about how food can really be addicting. I mean, not only do we need food to survive, but the “good” food messes with our heads. Doesn’t it?

The same point was coming from two completely different people talking about two completely different experiences in life but yet their point is identical.

Why is it the most basic thing in life, besides breathing and sleeping, has, at its core, the ability to elicit such emotions from us. Come on! We need to eat! We don’t have a choice. It’s not like we can quit, like quitting smoking or drinking. We can’t avoid it. It’s there whether we like it or acknowledge it or not. And it can make us feel so good. Even the most die-hard health experts will tell you that if you eat a balanced diet of high proteins, low carbs, high fiber and low sugars and fats, you’ll feel so much better. Your body will thank you for the healthy nourishment. So everyone agrees that food directly effects the way you feel and your emotional well-being.

I think, for those of us who have such a struggle with these decadent foods that give us this emotional high, we have an extra task in life to recognize which foods will give us that feeling of pleasure and that longing for a loved one, and realize that these feelings we seek from eating them are purely scientific and mechanical. Sugar=pleasure. Pleasure=indulgences. Indulgences=Danger Zone. Once we step into that danger zone, we have to realize, first, that we are there, then, second, take a look around and realize why we feel so good after eating that piece of cake, then, third, make a conscious decision to stop at that one bite or that one piece because we know that the effects of pleasure derived from it are not related to our well being but rather a false emotional stimulus that will be gone as soon as the sugar wears off. I think if we can put ourselves into that frame of mind whenever we’re in that situation, we’ll be much more equipped to take control and not give in to what that sense of pleasure and all it brings with it.

That being said, I’m still gonna want a piece of cake and I’m still gonna eat that piece of cake. But I have to assess that “euphoric” feeling I get when I first bite into it and realize that it’s not going to “make things all better”. That feeling is temporary. And if I can keep that in the front of my head, I’ll be less likely to go back for that 2nd or 3rd piece of cake, solely based on how it makes me feel. If I can just keep the science of it all in my head, I can beat it.

I’m equipping myself to resist the sweets this week. How about you? Will you try and do this with me. This is the perfect week to try this. I’m not going to refrain from indulging. Come on, it’s Christmas! But I’m going to stop and access my emotions after I have a bite or two and realize it’s my body’s chemical response that’s making me feel wonderful and that if I eat the rest of it or more of it, it’s not going to satisfy anything!

Think chemical. Think scientific. Resist overindulging this week.

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Dec 20, 2008

Weigh in today. I’ve had better…

Weigh in this morning was disastrous. I gained 1.8 pounds!!!!!

I wonder why? Hmmm. Was it because I ate this, this week:

  • 3 Brown Sugar Cookies
  • 4 Ferrero Rocher chocolates
  • 8-10 pieces of hand made (by my boss) candy
  • 1 Krispy Kreme donut
  • 4 pieces of Dove Dark Chocolate

And NO HIGH INTENSITY WORKOUTS????

Hmmm. You think that might have done it???!!!

I’m taking lead from the WW meeting this morning and setting goals for this week. Hopefully my goal setting will keep me in check this week. Here’s what I’m aiming for:

  • High intensity workout, 3 times
  • Walk for 30 minutes 7 days
  • Eat sensible or at least only eat one cookie or one piece of pie, etc. (this one will be tough on Thursday, but I’m really going to try it this time, not like Thanksgiving where it was a free-for-all feast)
  • Oatmeal with fruit, flaxseed meal and soy milk for breakfast
  • Egg white omelet with veggies and goat cheese (or something high in protein and low in fat) for lunch
  • Apple or almonds (or something high in fiber) for morning, afternoon, and evening snacks
  • 64 to 80 ounces of water a day (8-10 cups)
  • No eating after 8pm. Period!

I think those are doable. I think the high intensity workouts are going to be the key. That and to stop indulging! I hope. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I’m right where I was TEN WEEKS AGO! This is for the birds! At this rate, I’ll take me 10 years to lose these last 30 pounds!

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