Cara's Weightloss Journal

I had a bit of weakness yesterday. Had 2 mini burgers for lunch and then had some onion rings with my dinner. Ugh! I’m going to hate myself if I go back up 2 pounds this week. Why do I do that to myself. It’s like I just can’t stop myself sometimes. This is so hard.

Why does it have to be so hard?

Why can’t it be just as easy and fun losing it as it was putting it on?? I ask you, WHY?

I was just reading Escape From Obesity‘s blog, which is like my new favorite blog, and she was talking about what we all eat for breakfast (got some great ideas from some commenters, too). Anyway, she was talking about what she used to eat for breakfast and it made me think about what I used to eat. Which was barely anything at all for breakfast. I remember skipping breakfast because I thought it would help me at least maintain my weight. I would ramble into work without eating a darn thing and then fill up on cup after cup of coffee to tie me over until lunch where I would gorge on whatever was the fattiest thing I could find to eat.

What was I thinking? I had always heard that breakfast was the most important meal of the day, but I thought I was doing good by skipping it. What sabotage???

In high school, I would have a can of coke for breakfast. Sure, my mom always kept yummy cereal and other great breakfast treats in the house. But I’ve never been a morning person so I’d skip it and just buy a can of coke out of the vending machines at school. What a horrible breakfast! Made me hungry about an hour later, too.

After I graduated from high school, I’d have a diet coke for breakfast. After all I needed to watch my figure, right?

Now, breakfast is so important to me. I try to have the absolute most protein and fiber that I can possibly find in food. What a better way to start the day than with tons of protein to give me energy through the rough morning and fiber to make me fuller through to lunch? Then at lunch time I’m not ravenous and I can eat a sensible meal.

So I guess I know some of the reasons why I made it to my all time high of 275 pounds last May. Unhealthy, unhealthy, unhealthy eating. Over and over again.

I’m glad that’s behind me, now. I like eating healthy for breakfast, now. I really do.

Hey, am I the only one who’s totally getting psyched about the Olympics???

WWTGs Workout Stats (updated):
Total Calories Burned: 279
Minimum HR: 86
Maximum HR: 132
Average HR: 114
Total Time Walking: 55 min
Total Distance: 2.8 miles

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Challenge Update! – Week Three (update)
“18 Pounds in 18 Weeks“

Bento Box Diet – Uh, oh, haven’t had a post from Bento since last Tuesday. :(
Katschi – Lost another pound this week. Yeah!!!!!
MaryFran – No report, yet, for week 3.
Karyn – She’s back!!! I finaly got her blog address, now all I need is her WI progress. Woo hoo!!
Donna – Lost 1.9 pounds this week. Way to go Donna!!
Spunkysuzi – No report, yet, for week 3.
Cathy – (just started las week)
Koala – No report, yet, for week 3.
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You know, I was thinking yesterday about something I used to do when I was embarrassed of my size. I remember thinking that I wasn’t fat, but I sure felt fat when I was in public. My biggest embarrassment was standing in line at the grocery store or in line at a fast food place.

People have a natural tendency to look behind them when someone comes up to stand in line behind them. I think it’s a safety precaution. I used to absolutely hate that intruding glance. I felt violated by their glances. I could feel them look at me but I wouldn’t look back at them. Especially if I had something like ice cream or chips of cookies in my hands. I just knew they were thinking ‘man, look at that lazy, fat lady buying that junk food, disgusting!’. So I’d hide my face by looking behind me or pretending to be interested in one of the magazines on the rack.

Another thing I would do is to hide my face whenever I drove in front of a row of stopped cars. Say I was in the turn lane and my lane went first so the people across the street sitting there at the red light were just sitting there starring forward waiting for their light to turn green. I would always lift my hand up to my face and pretend like I was scratching my forehead or face so that my fat face would be obstructed. I just knew they were thinking ‘man, look at that lazy, fat lady driving that car, grose!’. And I absolutely HATED eating in a car while I was driving. That was just disgusting to think about what everyone else was thinking about me.

And what I realized just the other day is that I don’t do that any more. I now feel confident when I pass in front of a line of stopped cars. My face isn’t fat any more! I haven’t fake-scratched my face in quite a while.

And in the grocery store, I now smile at the person in front of me. It doesn’t embarrass me at all!

I feel like I’ve made a small triumph in feeling better about myself. It’s a shame I put those thoughts into my head in the first place. But I’m past them now. I just hope I never get back to those awful feelings again!

Somehow, I’m back up 2 pounds since the weekend. I’m hoping its just because I’ve biked 3 times since then and it’s added muscle. I’ve been eating what I should and drinking lost of water. No splurging (well, except for Saturday).

We’ll see how it goes.

Monday’s Workout Stats:
Total Calories Burned: 640
Minimum HR: 97
Maximum HR: 176
Average HR: 152
Total Time Biking: 61 min
Total Distance: 10.75 miles

Tuesday’s Workout Stats:
Total Calories Burned: 477
Minimum HR: 76
Maximum HR: 160
Average HR: 125
Total Time Biking: 65 min
Total Distance: 9.33 miles

Well, Saturday was a crappy WI.

I weighed myself every day last week and by Wednesday I was down 2 pounds from last Saturday’s WI. I gained a half a pound back before WI on Sat morning. My home scales are usually about a pound lighter than WW’s scales. So I take that into consideration when I weigh myself at home.

Well, for some unknown reason, WW put me as gaining 4/10ths of a pound!

I thought maybe I’d gained some weight between the time I weight myself at home and the time I got to the meeting (which is only a half hour), so after I got home from the meeting, I weighed myself again on my home scales and I was only up 2/10ths of a pound from when I had weighed myself before the meeting. So I don’t know how I could have been almost 2 pounds heavier at WW.

I have no idea, but my official WI for this week is + .4 lbs. Like it or lump it, that’s what it’ll have to be.

This morning, I was still down 2 pounds so I guess that’ll just have to reflect on next week’s WI.

On a brighter note, my workout Friday morning was phenomenal! I went TEN MILES!!!! (on my bike of course). Up and down the hilly paths and up and down the two foot bridges (one over a busy 6-lane road and the other over a major interstate). And then back again. Took me a total of an hour and 20 minutes, although I stopped twice on the way back for about 3-4 minutes each time to rest at the bottom of both of the foot bridges. I stopped to wait for my HR to get below 150 before I went up. I knew if I didn’t get my HR down, I’d have to get of my bike and walk up and I didn’t want to do that. Here are my stats:

Total Calories Burned: 883
Minimum HR: 106
Maximum HR: 182
Average HR: 158
Total Time Biking: 83 min
Total Distance: 10 miles

I think I’m really getting into this biking thing. It’s such fun. I want to go for a ride right now but it’s just too darn hot out there. It’ 93 degrees right now. Though the humidity is only up to about 35% that’s still too hot.

So this week was pretty cool because 2 of my friends from work signed up for WW, Cathy and Wendy. I showed Cathy how to comment on my blog on Friday, and then Wendy commented on my post from Monday. And then of course, there’s Jen, who is my WW buddy since we first started going. I got the job I have now because she left and I took her place. So we have a little community now of people I work with and WW. It’s kinda cool.

UPDATE: I just got back from biking. Woo Hoo!! Yea boy it was hot out there. But it was worth it. Here are my stats:

Total Calories Burned: 734
Minimum HR: 86
Maximum HR: 180
Average HR: 147
Total Time Biking: 71 min
Total Distance: 8 miles

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Challenge Update! – Week Three
“18 Pounds in 18 Weeks“

Bento Box Diet – (Lost 2.5 pounds, last week)
Katschi – (Lost 1.6 pounds, last week)
MaryFran – (Lost 0 last week)
Karyn – (no report last week, please send your blog address to carashow at gmail dot com or leave it in your comment. Not sure when her WI day is or how she’s doing.)
Donna – (Lost 3.6, last week)
Spunkysuzi – (Lost .6 of a pound last week)
Cathy – (just started las week)
Koala – (Send me an update and I’ll post it here for you.)
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Well, I didn’t go WWTGs this morning. I went to bed around 11 last night and when 5:30 came around this morning, I was dog tired. I tried to get some energy going, but nothing was doing. I’ve done pretty good the rest of the week, though, and tomorrow I’m so looking forward to my bike ride. I’ve already got the protein/power bar ready to go. Daughter is going to go with me tomorrow. She has no idea what she’s in for. I got her a bar, too, so she can keep up. I’m still trying to make it to 10 miles. Tuesday was 9.25. If I left maybe 15 minutes earlier, I’m sure I’d have time to do the full 10 miles.

Wouldn’t that be awesome???!!!

I can’t wait. I want to go to bed early so I can get up early and try it.

I’ve been weighing myself every morning and I’m going down. I think I might be down a pound. Hope it’ll stay off. I really think it’s this extra exercise that’s making the difference. And I’ve been going over my original goals for this Challenge and making sure I’m sticking to them.

Have you guys written out any goals? If you have, I’d love to see them.

I remember one of our WW classes, the leader passed out a “Story Boarding” flier to each of us and told us to pick a goal that we wanted to reach and it didn’t have to be weight related and then figure out the steps it would take us to get there and to write each step in a different box on the flier until the boxes pointed to the final goal. Kind of like a cartoon where you have the different cells or frames of the story that all leads to the punch line or the last box in the story. And I remember thinking how lame it all was. I thought, I know what my goal is and I know what I have to do to get there—quit stuffing my face! But you know, what I did with stating my goals in my original post about the Challenge is essentially doing the same thing. But it was more than that for me. It was actually being able to visualize what I would actually do to accomplish such a rigorous goal. And it really help me take ahold of this challenge and take it seriously.

I just took a break to read over everyone’s blogs and we have quite a menagerie of Challenge participants. Let’s keep each other motivated! We’re gonna do this together!

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Challenge Update! – Week Two (update)
“18 Pounds in 18 Weeks“

Bento Box Diet – Week 2 loss: Lost 2.5 pounds. Way to go!!
Katschi – Week 2 loss: Lost 1.6 pounds. Woo Hoo!!
MaryFran – Week 2 loss: zero She’s holding the scale at bay for now but big losses are on the way.
Karyn – Week 2 loss: no report. (please send your blog address to carashow at gmail dot com or leave it in your comment. Not sure when her WI day is or how she’s doing.)
Donna – Week 2 loss: Lost 3.6 – Way to go, Donna!!!
Spunkysuzi – Week 2 loss: Lost .6 of a pound. (sorry suzi)
Cathy – Week 2 loss: zero, she’s just starting
Koala – I somehow missed adding Koala to my list of challengers. I apologize, Koala. Let me know how you’re doing and I’ll update you on the list here tomorrow.
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So I went WWTGs this morning. Went 3.25 miles in about an hour. It started raining when we were maybe 5 minutes from the finish line. It lightened twice. Aaaahhhh! Here are my stats for this morning’s walk:

Total Calories Burned: 450
Minimum HR: 73
Maximum HR: 140
Average HR: 121
Total Time Biking: 62 min
Total Distance: 3.25 miles

And I told you yesterday that I’d post pictures of my bike route. So here they are:

This is the bottom of the walking bridge that goes over the interstate. Not a very good angle because I was completely out of breath trying to take a picture on my cell phone while holding my bike. (whew)

This one is a full picture of the bridge:

Then this picture is one of the wide paths:

Another lady at work told me she wanted to join WW. I’m so excited that I’ve contributed in any way to them wanting to lose weight and get back into shape. It’s so cool. Cathy also wants to join the 18 Pounds in 18 Weeks challenge. She knows she’s coming into it a week late, but being as she’s just starting the plan, she’ll probably have a big loss the first week to get caught up with the rest of us.

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Challenge Update! – Week Two (update)
“18 Pounds in 18 Weeks“

Bento Box Diet – Week 2 loss: Lost 2.5 pounds. Way to go!!
Katschi – Week 2 loss: Lost 1.6 pounds. Woo Hoo!!
MaryFran – Week 2 loss: zero She’s holding the scale at bay for now but big losses are on the way.
Karyn – Week 2 loss: no report. (please send your blog address to carashow at gmail dot com or leave it in your comment. Not sure when her WI day is or how she’s doing.)
Donna – Week 2 loss: Lost 3.6 – Way to go, Donna!!!
Spunkysuzi – Week 2 loss: Lost .6 of a pound. (sorry suzi)
Cathy – Week 2 loss: zero, she’s just starting

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