I think that should be the name of my first book. People keep telling me I should write a book. Sometimes I feel like I already have… here on my blog.
This week was the first week of a new study at my church on the book I was telling you guys about–Made to Crave by Lisa Terkeurst. It was very interesting. The idea is to turn our focus off of food and onto God.
I SO need to do that! All I can think about lately is food. All day long. In the middle of typing an email, I think of a restaurant we used to go to in Alaska called Sullivans and think about all the wonderful things we’d eat there. Out of the blue. It’s been 10 years since we left Alaska. Why would I think about that?
I think about… no, let me rephrase that… I obsess over food every waking hour. And I don’t know how to think about anything else.
I try not to, but that only makes me think of it more.
This is not helping my weight loss efforts one little bit.
This is how bad things have gotten. I haven’t logged my weight into Weight Watchers online because if my weight is hidden away in a little cardboard weight log and not officially entered into a database, it can’t really be all that bad, right?
I finally did it. I logged my weight for the first time since Feb 5th. … I’ve gained 9.8 pounds.
On Aug 7th of last year, I weight 158.8—the lowest I’d ever been (in fact, the lowest I’d been since before my 22 year old daughter was born).
Now look at me. My official weigh in last Saturday was 179 lbs. I’ve gained 20 lbs over these 11 months.
Because I can’t stop thinking about food.
I love absolutely everything about it. I love watching cooking shows. I love baking. I love cooking at home. I love going out to eat and trying foods I’d never cook at home. I love going to the grocery store and looking at all the different kinds of food there. I love… well, I really could go on and on and on. But suffice it to say, I think I’m a little obsessed.
So I’m really hoping this class will help me get a hold on things. See, I don’t need to learn how to lose weight. Weight Watchers has taught me that. I could probably even be a leader and teach others how to lose weight (who knows, maybe some day I will). But that’s not my problem. I know how to lose weight, I just don’t know how to stop eating and obsessing over food.
In the class tonight, she quoted a doctor who said that there is definitely a way to lose weight, and if you follow healthy guidelines you’ll lose weight. But when it comes to eating and enjoying eating, will power isn’t enough. The doctor said will power will only take you so far but it won’t help you achieve success. He recommended instead to look to a higher power for assistance.
Well, that’s what I’m doing. Or at least I’m attempting to do. I think the basic plan for the book is to replace my thoughts about food with my thoughts about God. The tagline on the front of the book says “Satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food”.
I have no idea, though, how on earth I’m going to stop thinking about food.
In the class tonight, they broke us up into smaller “discussion” groups. I felt so disconnected from the other ladies at my table. None of them seemed to have the problem I have. They might be bored eaters or emotional eaters or maybe just don’t know how to eat right. I felt so weird. Am I really the only one who thinks about food 24/7?