Cara's Weightloss Journal

I think there’s something wrong with me…

I keep craving healthy food.

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Am I alright??

Since I’ve started eating clean, it’s all I want to eat. I think it might be because I know the effects of the bad food on my body. I never knew that the simple foods we eat over and over can really be bad for our bodies.

I’ve learned how to listen to my body a lot better, now, too. I can feel the effects of healthy food on my body. I can feel how I stay fuller longer from the healthy stuff. I can also feel how bad I feel after eating unhealthy food.

Like the other night, I was in a rut and did not want to cook to save my life. I didn’t want chicken either. So I had lasagna. The real stuff, too, not Lean Cuisine.

About a half hour afterward, I could feel my heart racing and and I felt flushed. My stomach was tossing and turning and I kept burping.

It was the effects of the sugary pasta and the fatty cheeses.

I felt so bad but there was nothing I could do. The damage was done. I just had to wait that one out. I went walking just afterward to try and “compensate” for the yucky stuff I ate, but it didn’t help much. Sure it was a definite improvement from just sitting around and feeling sick to my stomach. But I don’t think it burned much of that lasagna off. :)

The best part is that the more healthy food I eat the more I crave it.

If you’d have told me a year ago that I would be craving granola bars, I’d say you were completely out of your ever-lovin mind! But here I sit in the afternoons craving some Pumpkin Spice Flax granola bars. And, oh my gosh, I’m craving apples like all of the time!

Have I totally lost it?

Who is this girl??

She exercises all the time. Eats healthy. Feels great. Looks slimmer.

I barely recognize her in the mirror.

I can’t wait for weigh in tomorrow morning. I hope last week wasn’t a fluke. I hope I didn’t gain it all back this week. Still no scales. Yippee!

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It was supposed to be a momentous occasion. It wasn’t quite what I had hoped, but it was still wonderful.

I had so wanted to sit down to Thanksgiving dinner and be thankful that I’d lost 100 pounds. And, though I didn’t get to do that, I was still thankful for the weight I’ve lost. I did think about it throughout the whole meal, though. Although the food was not healthy, loaded with fat, loaded with calories (and oh so yummy), I took smaller portions and only ate until I was full, like I should. It was still an accomplishment!

Let me back up a minute first, though. Thanksgiving day started with me having a bit of a cold. I’d come down with it the afternoon before. So hubby (I so love him for taking care of me) went to the only grocery store open and got me some Sudafed. He also got me another something special. … Okay, are you ready for this… deep breath… he got me a box of Entenmann’s powdered sugar donuts! Oh, man! Were they good!! It was the perfect beginning to a perfect Thanksgiving. There were 18 donuts in the box. I gave hubby 2 and daughter 1. Do the math. That’s 15 donuts I ate. They are 2 points a piece. … Yup, 30 points for the whole box, which I downed in less than an hour. Man were they good!

So now I have those elusive yummy donuts out of my system. I ate so many of them, they’re really not appealing to me any more. Whew!

Then for Thanksgiving dinner, I ate what I wanted to eat, even though it was smaller portions. I even had one piece of pumpkin pie afterwards. I did not count the points for dinner, though. But I imagine it was well over 50. :(

But all that aside, something wonderful happened this morning…

At weigh in…

I lost 3.4 pounds!!

What?!!??!!

Can you believe that???!!!

I know I can’t. I seriously thought I’d gained 10 pounds. Seriously. I’m not over exaggerating.

I exercised only 2 days (Jillian Michaels workout on Monday and walking on Wednesday). But I think this was the key… I’ve started eating clean. That combined with the fact that my scale is still hidden somewhere in this house. He hid it good!

Each morning for breakfast (except Thursday), I had either an egg white omelet with ground turkey and veggies or steel cut oatmeal with either pumpkin or just some Splenda and soy milk and dried cranberries. Then for lunch, something with high fiber and protein (pinto beans, peanut butter sandwich, etc.) and for dinner chicken or turkey with fresh veggies—no butter. Then in between meals, I’d have an apple or some pecans or granola bar, etc. Oh, and I’ve been drinking my 8 cups of water every day!

It’s not 100% on the Eat Clean diet, but it’s alot closer. I’m still not through reading the book, yet, but so far, it’s got alot of great nutritional information in it. It’s a real easy read, I just haven’t had much time to read (I never do), but the best thing about it is how she explains the science behind the different chemical reactions that happen from eating different things and exercising. It’s like, finally, someone is telling me how to eat healthy and the ‘why’ behind it all. Really good stuff.

Most of the principals behind the “diet” are just to eat healthy, chicken/turkey with fresh veggies and fresh fruit with a hearty breakfast of oatmeal or egg whites and then regular exercise, strength training and eating every 3 hours. But what’s so great about the book is the way I’m becoming equipped to really know how to make healthy choices. To recognize when food seems like it’s healthy, but really isn’t.

Well, I hope this week’s weigh in wasn’t a fluke. I hope this is what I can expect while I keep eating clean.

I’ve now lost a total of 96.8 lbs.

I’m still doing Weight Watchers. Still counting points. I won’t ever stop that. WW has been such a trusted friend to me through this whole journey.

So we’ll see how next week goes. I’m still going to continue eating clean and counting points and exercising my butt off. And NOT weighing myself at home. That has been such a huge stress reliever for me. I can now look to my body to tell me how I am doing rather than the scale. It’s funny, because this morning when I was getting ready, I felt skinnier. I knew in my heart that there was no way I could have lost this past week after all I ate on Thursday, but I could really feel skinnier. Now I know how to listen to my body for signs of how I’m doing. What a great feeling. I know I’ve said this before, but it has been so liberating for me to not weigh myself at home.

How was your Thanksgiving?

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I found something wonderful this morning! I found this channel called “Exercise TV” on my cable. I had no idea it was there. I’ve never seen it. It’s ALL exercise videos!

I can’t ride my bike out because its in the upper 30s in the mornings so I need to find something I can do inside. I only have Billy Banks’ Cardio Circuit Tae Bo video. It’s a great workout, but I’m kinda getting tired of it.

So this morning, I chose Jilian Michaels. I’m a die-hard Biggest Loser fanatic! Bob Harber has a workout on there too. I’ll do his next. I can’t make up my mind which trainer I like the best, but I lean more towards Bob because he works alot with yoga and relaxation, which, face it girls, we need a lot of—relaxation!

So anyway, I did her 30-Day Shred workout. It was level 2. I missed level 1 somehow. It was 20-minutes of hell! Man am I TIRED!!!

I previewed the video before I started and it didn’t look very hard at all. Man was that deceiving! I worked my butt off!

I feel real good! This is the first “real” exercise I’ve done in weeks. Sure, I walk every Tues & Thurs mornings for an hour, but that’s more medium/low-intensity cardio. This was a great change.

Now I’ll just have to see if I can get my lazy butt out of bed on Friday to do a different work out.

I’ve had a really great week since I’ve decided to stop beating myself up about not losing like I want to. I’ve actually done some really cool things this week:

• I only ate ONE piece of pizza when the family ordered a large pizza from Pizza Hut (my favorite pizza place on the planet!). It was loaded with everything I like. But I said I could only eat one piece and I told them I couldn’t order it. I figured I didn’t want to be the catalyst to bringing pizza into the house. And I stuck to my guns … ONLY HAD ONE PIECE!

• Then a day before yesterday, we had a coupon to a local restaurant (35% off!) so I met hubby after work and I was running a bit late. So he ordered an appetizer. POTATO SKINS!!! I couldn’t believe it when I sat down and saw those awesomely scrumptious delights sitting there waiting on me! And loads of sour cream too! … I DID NOT EAT ONE OF THEM!

• Then, I decided to try not weighing myself this week, at all. Well, the week started off rough, because I weighed myself Monday because I just couldn’t not do it! Then I talked to hubby about it that night and he said he’d hide the scale for me. (Isn’t he mister wonderful?!) So, perfect! I wouldn’t have to even see the scales so I won’t be tempted. Well, Tuesday morning came and the scales were still there. … so I weighed myself. … I have no restraint. None! … This morning when I got into the bathroom, you’ll never guess… the scales were gone! Woo hoo! I’m free! It actually feels liberating right now. We’ll see how it goes the rest of the week, but for now … I DID NOT WEIGH MYSELF THIS MORNING!

• I’ve also been drinking more water. That’s been a struggle of mine for soooooo long. Some experts say you should have 8 glasses a day. Some say, take your weight and divide it in half and that’s how many ounces you should be drinking each day. Well, for me, that’s about the same. So I’ve been trying to drink 5 bottles (16 ounces or .5L) a day … YESTERDAY, I HAD ALL FIVE BOTTLES!

• Oh, and I’ve walked for 30 minutes every night this week. This is in addition to my regular exercise routine. I still exercise and walk in the mornings for an hour. But this is a new addition. The nights have been so wonderful and I figured the dogs could use the exercise. So every night after dinner, I’ve been taking them out for a half hour walk around the neighborhood. I know that’s helping with my digestion and keeping my metabolism reved up. So here’s to … WALKING FOR 30 MINUTES EACH NIGHT!

I’ve also been making extremely healthy choices for my food. I’ve been reading Tosca Reno‘s Eat Clean Diet book and getting some great ideas for the types of foods that will hype my metabolism and will make me feel fuller longer and feed my body with the proper nutrients.

Yesterday, for breakfast, I had 3/4 cup steel cut oats with a half a cup of pumpkin, a tablespoon of honey, a shake of pumpkin pie spice and 2 tablespoons of dried cranberries. It was like a sweet Thanksgiving treat! Was so yummy!

I’ve made very smart choices this week for my food. So far, this “break” is going great.

By the way, this is the last week for the 18 Pounds in 18 Weeks challenge and I didn’t want to ignore you guys that are still on the challenge. I would love to hear what you guys have lost since the challenge started on July 12th. I’m sure everyone else here would love to hear also. So, let me know: Karyn, Katschi, MaryFran, Donna, Spunky Suzi and Bento Diet, Cathy. Even if it’s a loss or a break even or even if it’s one pound, we should be proud of our efforts. So please let me know so I can post a final post this weekend with our final results.

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I feel a lot of pressure off since my last post. I’m still working on losing weight, but I’ve put the “goal” behind me for now. Or actually, just extended it for a while. Barb (the wonderful lady who weighs me in each Saturday morning) mentioned this morning maybe aim for the end of the year. That’s a possibility. And maybe something more realistic.

(Time out for a sec… I have to say that I really enjoy my WW team. They’re always so encouraging. And if you haven’t done so, you should read my leader’s comments on my last post. Very supportive. I thoroughly enjoyed the meeting today too.) Now back to my post…

I realized when I first started the 18 Pounds in 18 Weeks challenge in July it would be a hard one to accomplish. Let’s face it—one pound a week can be a lot! But I’m all for setting goals. If I don’t have a goal, I’ll flounder. But I think this one was just too much for me. I just took it too seriously. And 18 weeks didn’t seem like that long of a time. But it was FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS! What was I thinking!?

I lost this week!!

Yea!!!

It was only 4/10ths of a pound. But you know? I’m proud of it!

I had to admit that when I first heard that I’d lost the 4/10ths I was a bit disappointed. But let me explain why. I had weighed myself at home and, according to my weight before WI last Sat and my weight before WI this Sat, I was down 1.2 pounds.

I sat there in the meeting feeling sorry for myself. Man! I had only lost 4/10ths!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???!!!!

4/10ths is huge!

It hit me when I was sitting at lunch with my family today (our regular Saturday afternoon event). I sat there about to order and thought about ordering what ever I wanted and was even considering getting dessert. But as my eyes were perusing the menu and my mouth was watering at all of the fatty delectables, it hit me… I had just lost 4/10th of a pound! And if I ordered whatever my heart desired, that 4/10th would go down the crapper (literally). My whole week of struggle would be for nothing. So then I started to cherish that 4/10ths … 4/10ths was really a great loss!

I’m so proud of it, I made a graphic in honor of it:

You know, something else happened this week that wasn’t reflected on my WI that I should be darn proud of…

Okay, to start with, I have to confess to all of the junk I ate last weekend. I won’t go into the gory details, but lets just say it wasn’t pretty. The weekend ended with a Chocolate Stampede from Longhorn Steakhouse. Here’s the description from their website: Two peaks of chocolate cake packed with six (yes, six) types of chocolate including chocolate mousse, fudge icing and chocolate shavings! Served with vanilla bean ice cream, fudge sauce and whipped cream. OMG! Was it rich! And probably 300 points! Here’s a pic:

The whole weekend was pretty much like that.

I gained 4 pounds by Monday morning.

So technically, I didn’t lose just 4/10ths of a pound, I lost 4.4 pounds right?!

I really did try, too. All week. Though I only exercised twice. Boo! No excuse for not exercising more. None at all!

But you know, I’m still in this for the long haul. I’m going to make it to 140 eventually. My next goal is still 100 pounds. I’m 5.6 pounds away from it. It might happen before the end of the year, it might not. But when it happens, it’ll be great! I know it will.

By the way, check out my new “before and during” photo to the right. I’m looking so good, aren’t I?

Oh, by the way, thanks for the encouragement, Katchi. I went out and bought Tosca Reno‘s Eat Clean Diet book. I was very excited to hear how much you’d lost from “eating clean”. I’m not sure if this diet is right for me, but it does look interesting. I’m not usually into eating grains and nutty things, but since I started WW I’ve always wanted to eat ultra healthy. And this looks like a great start. I’m just reading through the book this weekend, but so far, it looks great. It’s in line with my “eating healthy” practices that I’ve adopted so far—whole grain, low fat, high protein, high fiber, organic. I’ve also wanted to try the Maker’s Diet by Paul Rubin. Both of these books seem to take you back to the traditional way of eating that we did before there were processed foods, when grains were the main staple of every diet. We’ll see how it goes.

And thank you to everyone who has been such an encouragement to me via this blog and in my life. It is so awesome for me to hear how I could possibly be an inspiration to anyone. I’m so happy I could do that for you. Your comments just make me want to keep going.

I won’t give up!

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