Cara's Weightloss Journal

Had a great walk this morning. There are normally 4 of us that walk, but one is out of town and one “called in sick” so it was just the two of us. The two who started first together. Was nice. Though I did miss the other two.

We tried doing more of the c25k. This was her first try at it, though she’s a little more in shape than I am and weighs about 40 pounds lighter than I do, so it wasn’t that bad for her the first time like it was for me. Still, we just did 4 sets of 60 seconds running and 90 seconds walking.

I think I’ll do it again Friday morning and just keep it to 4 sets. It ends up being a total of 4 minutes running and 6 minutes walking. Sounds so measly when I say it like that. But in the grander scheme of things, 4 minutes is HUGE.

I’m not afraid to run any more. I was totally relaxed this morning and felt great at the end of every run. I’m sure I could do all 8 sets. But I don’t want to push it. The last thing I want to do is burn out on this or go to fast that I get hurt or start hating it.

I had an okay day yesterday. Work is going smoothly. I had Cracker Barrel for lunch (egg beaters, turkey sausage and bran muffin – I know, for lunch, right?) and then a roasted chicken with mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. Was probably too much food. No, i know it was too much food. But at least it was high in protein and fiber. I was up a half a pound from yesterday morning, but I’m not worried about it.

I gotta tell you a funny story about my puppies. I have two pups, a Chihuahua and a Lab/Sheppard mix. The little one is about 9 lbs and the big one is about 90 lbs. Big dog LOVES to eat little dog’s food so we have to keep it up and little guy can only eat when one of us is in the room guarding him. So yesterday I was siting there waiting for him to get done eating and I see big dog laying about 3 feet behind the little guy as he eats. Like she’s just sitting there waiting to get his food. So the little guy likes to flick his tiny food pieces out of his bowl one at a time then he goes and chases the food piece and eats it. A little eating game he plays with himself. So he starts doing that and a little piece of food flings behind him and before he can see where it went, it landed between big dogs paws. So they both look at it for a second. Big dog says “thank you food god for sending me morsels from heaven”. Little dog says “crap, how am I going to get that piece of food now!”. So big dog eats it and looks up at little dog who has a look of total amazement on his face. So little guy walks back over to his bowl and does the EXACT SAME THING. Same dilemma, same look on their faces and big dog eats it. This goes on two more times before little guy sits down and looks at big guy for a second, probably saying to himself “okay, no more, you’re not getting another bite”. Then he stops flicking his food out of his bowl. Was weird seeing him eat his food out of his bowl. He’ll usually only do that when he’s absolutely starved. I think he was afraid of losing one more precious bit of food.

Was the funniest thing to watch. Dogs are cool to watch and get a chuckle out of!

Well, I did it. I hit my 75 lb goal (officially) this morning.

I weighed in at 188.4 on the WW scales.

That’s actually 76.8 pounds I’ve lost since a year ago next month (May 12th).

I worked my butt off last week trying for it. I lost 3.2 pounds. I was real strict about EVERYTHING. I didn’t overindulge on the weekend (last weekend) like I normally do. I only used about 5 of my flex points last weekend. And then throughout the week, I would only allow myself to go over my allotted 24 daily points if it was something healthy, like, say, peanuts, which are high in fat but it’s a good fat that your body needs and has lots of protein and fiber. I ate bulky foods that would keep me full longer. And I focused on high fiber, high protein, no sugar substitute, foods high in vitamin A, I made sure I had at least one serving of veggies a day (which is good for me because I know I don’t eat enough veggies and fruit). I had oranges for extra vitamin C. I had pumpkin and flaxseed oil and plenty of dairy every day. I’m telling you this whole thing was calculated.

Here’s a pic of me comparing August 06 at 285 to now 188:

Okay, here’s the thing… my weight loss has been cyclical from the start. I’ll lose a big number and then the next few weeks will be next to nothing. So I don’t know if it was my plan or if it was just time for me to lose big. So I’m going to try and do the same thing this coming week and see if it happens again.

Oh, yea, and I only exercised twice last week. (Bad Cara.) But this week, we’re going to the gym every morning.

Oh, and here’s the absolute best part…

I bought a pair of shorts last night and they’re SIZE 14!!!!

I haven’t fit in size 14 since before my 19 year old was born. I couldn’t believe it. I tried on the size 16 and it seemed to be a bit loose so I asked my daughter to go get me a size 14 just for giggles and grins. And low and behold, they fit perfectly!!!

Can you believe it!!!????

So, how was your week?

(Oh, by the way, my mom finally started her own blog. You’re comments were a great help. Thanks everyone!)

First, I want to say I’m sorry for dragging my feet and not posting on here for over a week. At first, I just needed a break from the computer. I’d spend hours in here at night researching, posting, commenting and before I knew it my nights were just gone. I work on a computer all day producing a magazine and then I’d come home and work on the computer producing my blog. I think I just needed to learn some balance in it all. I think I’m there now. I have a tendency to be a bit over compulsive about newly found hobbies. And I think that’s what it was. But I’m back and will post regularly, now, but not obsess over this whole thing.

That being said…

I just got done watching Biggest Loser tonight and it was a really great show. They went to Australia, which is a place I’ve ALWAYS wanted to visit. And it was gorgeous!

My favorite part was this guy named Adro who was the winner in season one of the Australian version of BL. He came on and started talking about how weight loss is a thing that’s in your heart and in your head and not something that you just do with your body. He talked about when he was on a challenge where he had to climb up a pole, I don’t know how many stories tall, and jump off while harnessed. They showed hip perched up on that tiny platform hugging the wooden pole with his back to the edge. He wouldn’t let go. He was petrified of heights. Bob was yelling at him to jump but he wouldn’t. It took him a half hour before he managed to step out to the edge of the platform and jump. But the most amazing thing happened when he jumped. He said he had a kind of out of body experience where he felt the old, fat Adro separate from the new, thiner Adro as he fell down and by the time he got to the ground, his two halves came back together but he was never the same. He saw his old self and never wanted to go back to that person again. He vowed right then to never be obese again. It was very touching and very inspiring. I’ll look for the video of it on YouTube and post it here when I find it. His talk with the current contestants was truly amazing.

I love that show, not just because of the hype of it, but because of how these peoples’ lives have been transformed. Truly transformed. Not just by losing weight. And not just by the celebrity-ness of it all. But how their mental psyche has changed. How their very being is no longer the same as it has been in their previous lives.

Speaking from the perspective of a formerly obese person, I hope I can develop this type of psyche. I can already see I’ve taken on some of these characteristics. I want to truly learn how to eat better. I want to learn about the food I put in my body and what it’s made of and what it’s effects are on my body and mind. I want to learn how to exercise the best possible way for my body through the transitions of weight loss. But most importantly, I want to be able to keep this attitude, this drive, this passion for health and fitness for the rest of my life. I don’t ever want to feel the way I used to feel when I was fat. I used to tell myself that I felt fine and I had high self esteem and that I was pretty and all of that. But I really think I was just trying to talk myself into believing something that was a total sham.

I wasn’t just fat, I was obese. And I was truly embarrassed.

I remember (and I still have this problem sometimes) thinking that everyone was watching the fat lady eat and saying to themselves “look at that pig”. I remember driving down the road and whenever I’d have to pass in front of a row of cars that was sitting at a red light that I’d always put my hand up to my face like I was scratching my head or something so it would shield my face from the people who were sitting there at the red light because I just knew they’d think “oh, look at that fat lady driving past, that’s disgusting”. To this day, I have a phobia about walking up behind a person in line at the grocery store because it’s inevitable that the person in front of me will always turn around and look to see who just walked up behind them. And before, I just knew that when they turned around and saw me behind them, they’d think “wow, look at how fat she is, I wonder what kind of junk food she’s buying to feed her face with tonight”.

I can’t believe I’m coming to terms with this now like this but it’s been haunting me ever since high school when my metabolism changed and I gained 50 lbs in my senior year. From there it was all down hill. And from there is when I started hating the way I looked through other peoples’ eyes.

I never want to feel that again.

I am taking a vow right here and right now to never be obese again. I will not allow myself to feel the way I’ve felt these past 25 years. My 25 years of obesity. Gone!

It’s the new me. Like Adro said when he made it to the ground. The old me is still very much a part of who I am, but the new me will never allow the old me to surface again. It’s just not going to happen.

so i weighed myself this morning and lost a pound. what???

i ate a dozen FRIED shrimp yesterday for lunch and last night at about midnight i had 7, SEVEN, tollhouse home baked chocolate chip cookies!!!

i ate a total of 56.5 points yesterday.

i only have 2.5 of my extra 35 points left!!!

how on God’s green earth could i LOSE A POUND?????

well, i was able to get down two pounds this week, but i’m still up one pound from last week’s weigh in. Oh, well, what are ya gonna do?

i’m eating everything i should be. nice and balanced with a good variety of foods. veggies. dairy. oils. fiber. protein. meat. it’s all there.

i even exercised 4 days this week. good workouts too. i’ve walked between 8,000 to 10,000 steps every day this week.

i don’t know what i’m missing, but i still gained a pound this week. tomorrow morning is weigh in. we’ll see how i did…

something i was thinking about doing at work was starting a “diet club”. you have to tell me what you think about this idea. i know so many people at work that are either on a diet or want to be on a diet or have just lost a ton of weight. so i thought we could all get together and just chat about what we’re doing, what works, what doesn’t, and brag some about what we’ve lost. i think it would be encouraging for the people who are either struggling to lose or maybe have been wanting to lose but haven’t found the will to do it yet.

the only thing is, i’m a terrible organizer. i organized a bake sale for a lady at work who was going on a mission trip to the Czech Republic and it only made $200. i posted flyers. i put an ad in the company newsletter. i circulated emails. i even asked for volunteers to serve or bake. so i don’t know what it did wrong.

but i would love to give this one a try. i wonder if anyone else has ever done anything like this?? i could really use some advice. i really want to do this.