Cara's Weightloss Journal

Okay, so finally the scale is dropping a bit. I’ve been really obsessing over everything that goes in my mouth this week. I hate doing this, but it’s the only way for now. It’s going to drive me crazy soon enough, I know it is. I’m down almost 2 pounds since Saturday. Not great, but at least it’s going down.

I am finding that my portions are a little on the large side. Not much. Maybe 10% more than they should be. But I think it’s what’s been causing me to not lose over the past few months. At least I sure hope that’s what it is. I’m measuring EVERYTHING now. Just like I first started WW.

I went for a bike ride this morning. Went 10.5 miles. Did it in an hour. Not bad. Not great, but not bad. Earned 8 activity points. Sweet!!

I went walking tonight with my WW walking team. I was afraid it was going to rain, but not a drop in sight. We met at a state park at 7:15 and the park closed at sunset. I was afraid we’d get done walking and come back and our cars would be locked in the park over night. Whew! We got back in plenty of time. Earned another 3 APs. So far, I’m up to 28 APs for the week. Woo hoo!

How about Biggest Loser last night??!! I’m probably in the minority, but I LOVED that Helen won. She started out almost as heavy as I was when I first started WW and she’s my age and she looked amazing! Well, a little on the thin side, but she still looked great. And Jerry!!! Wow!!! 68 years old!!??? And he lost 177 pounds!?! Man, he puts me to shame!

I’ve been having the worst cravings lately. I usually get this way when I’ve been “real strict” for a long period of time. And I have been. Now I’m just trying to push through it without caving in. I know I’m going to, though. I’m craving anything under the sun. Egg salad. Donuts. Chips n dip. Cupcakes. Cake of any kind. Heck, anything with icing on it! Ice cream (which I usually hate). Popcorn. Oh my gosh! I want some popcorn so bad! Bacon. Steak. Anything with gobs of cheese on it or in it. Baked potato loaded with sour cream, cheese and bacon. Okay, I’ll stop. I could go on and on but I won’t. And I know giving myself a “little” taste won’t do it. It’s all or nothing when these cravings sink in. Suffice it to say, I’ve got it bad. Lets just hope I don’t cave.

Check this out. I re-watched the Biggest Loser during lunch and wrote down all their weights and percentages. I know, I’m obsessed, what can I say. But if you’re interested, here’s the order of winners:

Helen – Winner!!!
Starting Weight: 257
Current Weight: 117
Total Pounds Lost: 140
54.47% of weight loss

Mike – was only 5 pounds away from winning
Starting Weight: 388
Current Weight: 181
Total Pounds Lost: 207
53.35% of weight loss

Tara – was only 6 pounds away from winning
Starting Weight: 294
Current Weight: 139
Total Pounds Lost: 155
47.28% of weight loss

At Home Contestants:

Jerry – Wow! Amazing!!!
Starting Weight: 369
Current Weight: 192
Total Pounds Lost: 177
47.97% of weight loss

Kristin – So glad she came in 2nd
Starting Weight: 360
Current Weight: 193
Total Pounds Lost: 167
46.39% of weight loss

Nicole – Was so surprised she came in 3rd. Go girl!!
Starting Weight: 269
Current Weight: 146
Total Pounds Lost: 123
45.72% of weight loss

Ron
Starting Weight: 430
Current Weight: 238
Total Pounds Lost: 192
44.65% of weight loss

Sione
Starting Weight: 372
Current Weight: 226
Total Pounds Lost: 146
39.25% of weight loss

Dane
Starting Weight: 412
Current Weight: 258
Total Pounds Lost: 154
37.38% of weight loss

Filipe
Starting Weight: 364
Current Weight: 229
Total Pounds Lost: 135
37.09% of weight loss

Damien
Starting Weight: 381
Current Weight: 245
Total Pounds Lost: 136
35.7% of weight loss

Mandi
Starting Weight: 263
Current Weight: 171
Total Pounds Lost: 92
34.98% of weight loss

Estella
Starting Weight: 249
Current Weight: 159
Total Pounds Lost: 83
34.3% of weight loss

Carla
Starting Weight: 379
Current Weight: 251
Total Pounds Lost: 128
33.77% of weight loss

Shanon
Starting Weight: 283
Current Weight: 191
Total Pounds Lost: 92
32.51% of weight loss

Cathy
Starting Weight: 293
Current Weight: 198
Total Pounds Lost: 95
32.42% of weight loss

Blaine
Starting Weight: 365
Current Weight: 249
Total Pounds Lost: 116
31.78% of weight loss

Daniel
Starting Weight: 454
Current Weight: 312
Total Pounds Lost: 142
31.28% of weight loss

Laura
Starting Weight: 285
Current Weight: 199
Total Pounds Lost: 86
30.18% of weight loss

Joelle
Starting Weight: 309
Current Weight: 229
Total Pounds Lost: 80
25.89% of weight loss

Aubrey – I’m so bummed about her. She was my fav. Tough break.
Starting Weight: 249
Current Weight: 194
Total Pounds Lost: 55
22.09% of weight loss

David
Starting Weight: 393
Current Weight: 350
Total Pounds Lost: 43
10.94% of weight loss

Biggest Loser was great tonight. I cried big ole alligator tears when Tara crossed the finish line. Then I did it all over again when Helen crossed. I didn’t cry for Mikey because even though it was a huge victory for him, I could totally empathize that it just wasn’t the huge victory he’d wanted. But darn it all, I cried when Ron crossed the finish line. But I wasn’t crying for Ron, I was crying for Mikey. He was so stinking proud of his dad. And Max was crying from like a mile back from the end of the race.

I can’t believe that show finally got me crying. Crying like a baby.

I can identify with that show and those contestants so much. I know exactly what they were going through when the got home. That overwhelming fear that they couldn’t do it and that they’d go back to the “way it used to be”. That paralyzing fear. That fear that derails.

Tara was so afraid that she’d completely fallen of the wagon when those Pita chips attacked her in the grocery store. She had everything under control and then her old food addictions set in and it scared her to death.

Helen was so afraid to drink that glass of wine. What if she couldn’t stop. What if she convinced herself that it was okay to drink a glass of wine on a regular basis and then she’d be right back where she was.

Mike was so afraid that all of his hard work wasn’t going to be enough. And afraid he wouldn’t have time for him.

I could totally identify with each of them. That fear is so tangible. That fear is what kept me from reaching my 100 pound goal last fall. I just knew that once I reached my goal I’d mess up some how and gain it all back. Then I was afraid that if I ate something that I loved and wouldn’t be able to stop. I just knew that I wouldn’t be able to do it. Or worse yet, I’d do it, I’d lose all the weight, but then I’d gain it all back. I love food after all. Why would I want to deprive myself of it for the REST OF MY LIFE??

But I’ve learned what Tara, Helen and Mike have learned. I CAN do it. And if I fall off, I’ll just get back on and life will go on.

Life will go on.

So one pound at a time. One day at a time. I’m continuing my journey. And I’m loving every minute of it.

I went walking with my WW team tonight. We walked a very brisk 3 miles. Was great getting to know new people and walking on that beautiful trail. Here’s a pic:

Yea, there were only 4 of us and a non WW member who walked with us and took the picture. But at least we’re out there doing it, right?

We’re walking again tomorrow night and the next night.

I am so excited!

I lost weight this week!!

OH MY GOSH, I FINALLY lost weight.

I lost 1.4 pounds. Was quite a shock.

I kept steady gaining weight all week. Even after I exercised just almost every day. I stayed on points and seemed to be doing great. Except the scale kept kicking me in the gut every morning.

Then Kelly mentioned something on my Wednesday blog post that hit me like a mac truck… Sodium. I know I have a problem with eating too much sodium. Didn’t used to be that way, but recently I’ve learned that if I eat too much, I’ll start retaining. (I miss my nightly popcorn snack so bad.) But I wasn’t even thinking when I bought a bag of pretzels last weekend. I know they’re low fat and relatively low in points. I can have a small bowl for only 3 points. But I forgot that the sodium is a killer for me.

Ugh!

So Thursday, no pretzels and no salt. Lost half a pound that day.

Then Friday, no preztels and no salt at all. Lost 2 pounds.

I was retaining!

Sabotage!

Thanks for helping me figure that out. Just in time, too.

So, now I’M THE LOWEST WEIGHT I’VE EVER BEEN since I started WW 2 years ago. I’m coming up on my 2 year anniversary with WW. I started on May 12, 2007. I haven’t missed one week of WW since then. Not one. I know me, if I miss a week then it will be okay to miss and I’ll soon lose my motivation for accountability.

I’m now down to 167.4lbs.

Woo Hoo!!

I’ve got 2.2 pounds to get the ominous 100.

But more importantly, I’m only 2/10ths of a pound from a paper clip!!!

I’m so excited. And I just can’t hide it. Can you hear the Pointer Sisters chiming along with me?

=D

I wonder. Can the brain invent smells that really aren’t there?

I was driving home from work last night and all of the sudden, out of the blue, I get a huge whiff of potato chips and dip. But just for one brief second. Then it was gone. But the windows were rolled up and there was no one and nothing in the car except for me. How did this happen?

But of course NOW I’m craving chips and dip so bad I can’t see straight! I was doing fine, too. No cravings all week. Ugh!

I went walking again last night with my WW group. There were actually fewer of us last night than the night before. Oh, well. We had a blast anyways. I post a picture later. Another lady took a picture of us all and she’s gonna email it to me.

I’m in a dilemma. I know, you’re saying, Cara when are you NOT in a dilemma. And, no, it’s not the Pound for Pound Challenge. :] It’s my weight. I’m steady gaining this week and I have no idea why.

I have not splurged or over indulged. Not even on Saturday or Sunday. I’ve eaten within my points every day. I’ve exercised every day, but not over doing it, so I’m sure it’s not muscle gain. It’s not around that time of the month. I just don’t get it. I’ve been up between 2/10ths and 4/10ths every day. I’ve accumulated a total of 1.8 pounds since weigh in on Saturday. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

Maybe it is the exercise. I thought my legs were sore, but I realize now its just my right calf. I think I pulled a muscle last Friday and it’s still nagging me. My legs, other than that, really feel fine. I only did walking twice this week and I have to be honest with myself and say that I did not over exert myself there. The walking was more like walking through a park or around a mall. I didn’t burn alot of calories either time. I did the Gazelle twice this week but only for 15 minutes each time. But this is supposed to help me lose weight not gain.

I know they say you gain muscle when you exercise. But this is ridiculous. I’m not really exercising. I’m just moving more. So there shouldn’t be any muscle gain to it. Then what the heck is it?!?

All I want is to lose 100 pounds. That’s all I want. Is that so much to ask. I swear, I’m NOT sabotaging myself this time. I haven’t had any of the tendencies I had before. I’m steady and focused and loving it. I don’t think I’m stressed about anything. I mean, any more than usual. Yes, my life is plenty stressful, but who’s isn’t right now anyways.

Oh, well. Steady on. I was joking with my WW leader last night that I hope I can get my 100 pounds by NEXT Thanksgiving. I was supposed to reach it this past Thanksgiving. The way I’m going, it might be Thanksgiving of 2010.

Weigh in yesterday was a bit upsetting, but not a total loss.

I gained 8/10ths of a pound.

:(

I had wanted to lose 8/10ths of a pound so I could get a paperclip and so I could be at my lowest weight in over 20 years. Now I’m 1.6 lbs away from my paper clip.

I’m not down and out, though. I know exactly what I did. Or rather didn’t do. I didn’t exercise. I went on that fabulous bike ride last Sunday and that was it, except for 15 minutes on the Gazelle at lunch time on Friday (which, by the way, I’m still incredibly sore from—can you believe it, only 15 minutes and 2 days later I still can’t walk from being so sore).

So this is why is wasn’t a total bust. I am motivated to exercise every day this week. Even if it is for 15 minutes at lunch on the Gazelle. I already went on another Sunday morning bike ride (an hour and 45 minutes, 1800 calories burned, AND I found a new trail).

Can I just say something about the Gazelle? I don’t know if you guys have ever tried a Gazelle or even heard of one, but this is an EXCELLENT exercise machine. We bought ours like 10 years ago (or so) and we’ve used it maybe a total of 50 times. Hubby started using it last week and for like 3 days afterward he was complaining of how his legs were sore. I thought this was a little funny because he’d only been on the machine for like 10 or 15 minutes.

UNTIL FRIDAY.

I was so upset that I hadn’t exercised at all last week so I said to myself, I’m at least going to exercise for 15 minutes. So I haphazardly hopped onto the Gazelle and went to town on it for 15 minutes. I should have known something was up when I stepped off the thing and could barely walk. Not because of pain, but because of weakness. My legs were so wobbly. Then I woke up Saturday morning and almost couldn’t walk. I was so darn sore from that measly 15 minutes on the Gazelle.

I’m still sore—2 and a half days later.

So now I owe hubby a huge apology for thinking he was being silly for acting so sore after only 10 minutes on the machine.

So anyway, this week I’m going to exercise every day. Be it walking, running or a few minutes on the Gazelle. I will lose this week!

On a slightly different subject, something sad happened the other night. I got an email from the Pound for Pound challenge (see my badge over to the right and down a little). It told me that it’s time to log in my weight loss so they can donate 1 pound of food to people in need for every full pound I’ve lost.

I couldn’t remember when I signed up for the challenge so I didn’t know when my start date was for my weight loss period so I went to their website and saw that the challenge began on December 15, 2008 and ends April 27, 2009. So I went to the Weight Watchers website and pulled up their absolutely spectacular new Weight Tracker and punched in a date range of December 15th the current date and that’s when something very depressing happened. I discovered that I’d actually gained a pound during that time span.

Gulp.

I can’t enter in a gain. Do you think they’ll take a pound of food back from the starving children if I post a gain? Ugh!

So now what? Do I post the 1 pound gain? Will they even allow me to post a gain??

I’m so panicked about this. I only have until tomorrow to enter my results.

Do I just not post my results?

They’ll think I forgot or worse yet, they’ll think I’m one of those dead beats who starts a challenge and never finishes it.

I’m so upset. What do I do???